New Beginnings

As the year draws to a close, another year gone, even faster than the one before. The dark evenings have drawn in, not seeing much daylight, we can be thankful that the shortest day of the year is done and we get a brief rest from the daily grind. Stoke the fires and batten down the hatches hoping for something a little better next year.

STOP! What are you thinking?

Yes, everyone seems to breath a sigh of relief at this time of year. If it is because we’re due a welcome break, fair enough, we all deserve a little rest and relaxation. It is a chance to focus our attention on family, friends and re-energise ourselves. But lets not be too glad to see the back of the year!

When we look back, lets consider the great things we’ve done. Take stock and celebrate the progress we’ve made. The few bumps we might have had along the way simply don’t matter anymore, we’ve learnt from them and moved on.

It’s time to look forward not backwards.

We must see the New Year as an opportunity for a new beginning, as is every other day of the year. It just highlights the need to look to the future with positive ambition and eager anticipation. Stop wishing for a better future and lets take action to make it happen.

Ask yourself;

‘What am I going to do, now, to make my dreams come true?’

Make those new years resolutions if you feel the need, but make them positive and achievable. If you really want to make them work, read the ‘Resolution Revolution’ in this Blog to help achieve what you set out to do. If they are just for the New Year, what happens when it’s over? Turn your resolutions into daily and weekly goals and not just for the New Year.

So, now, lets smile confidently as we stride fearlessly into the future of our own making. Head held high, excited by the prospect of new opportunities we could never have dreamt of, and enjoy the challenges life presents us.

I’m not going to wait for it to happen, I’m going to make it happen.
Lets go and get on with it.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

Behaviour Modelling - Part 4

BECOMING COMPETENT

Once you have made all the observations you can, you need to transfer that behaviour to yourself. Remember, your aim is to master a skill, and a skilled person is able to ‘do what they know’ and ‘know what they are doing’.

To achieve this you must ‘talk the talk’ then ‘walk the walk’; having identified and understood all the skills you need to develop a specific behaviour via a detailed and well-formed model. This means making the mental step of acting as though you have already developed this behaviour. Even though you may still need to acquire particular sub-skills, you should attempt to make this behaviour natural to you. You may feel and appear awkward and superficial in the beginning, but persevere; this is absolutely natural and won’t last forever.

From Here to Competence

Here is a very brief explanation of the process of becoming competent. You don’t need to understand this in great depth to become competent, but it will certainly assist in the process. Refer to the diagram as you read on and it may become a little clearer.

As we develop competence we pass through four states of understanding and ability. Decide where on this cycle you are now, and then you will have a better idea of the next step you will need to take.

Unconscious Incompetence
You don’t realise that you can’t do a task.
You have a lack of awareness and ability.
Conscious Incompetence
You realise that you can’t do a task.
You are aware of your lack of ability.
Conscious Competence
You are aware of the task you are doing.
You are aware of your ability.
Unconscious Competence
You are not aware of the task you are doing.
You no longer need to be aware of your ability.

These states are grouped in two higher processes; both are necessary in becoming competent in any task or behaviour.

Implicit Modelling
(Unconscious Incompetence and Competence)
This is an inductive process, taking in information around us identifying the patterns that make up our world.

Explicit modelling
(Conscious Incompetence and Competence)
This is the process of deduction then description and finally putting these things into practice.

Embedding and Activating Competence

Once competent, you should then embed this new behaviour by creating an ‘anchor’ (also known as performance cues, rituals, triggers) attached to the behaviour you are modelling. With an ‘anchor’ you can reproduce a behaviour at will when it is most needed or if you find it slipping so you can ‘re-set’ yourself. If you are unsure of how to do this, don’t worry, it is a simple process and I will be discussing it separately.

Eventually, when you have all the sub-skills you require and use the new behaviour without thinking, congratulations, you have attained the behaviour you modelled. In other words you have reached a state of ‘Competence’.

Instant Modelling

There is a very quick method of modelling a behaviour if the situation requires it. But this method obviously does not have the depth of change the complete method would give you. To make more significant and ingrained changes takes a little more effort.

1. Imagine your role model or subject standing just in front of you and facing the same way. Visualise that person in relation to the behaviour you need.
2. Take a step forward into your subjects’ shoes so their behaviour becomes a part of you, or let them float backwards into you absorbing their behaviour.
3. Now you can handle the situation using your newly acquired behaviour.

I am sure you have seen a stereotypical possession type ghost movie; it is a little like that (with no ghosts of course). It is quick and works really well. This type of modelling is only a quick fix; so, if you wish to make this behaviour truly yours you must follow the full modelling process as described here.

What ever behaviour you choose to model, have fun and take pleasure in your personal development.

Behaviour Modelling - Part 3

MODELLING BEHAVIOUR


Method

To model a behaviour we need as much information as we can gather. There are a variety of methods we can employ to gather this information. Interviews and questionnaires are limited as they often omit key data and/or make assumptions. Simulating behaviour is a step improvement. Without doubt, live observation of the behaviour itself and interaction with the subject is by far the best and most accurate method. Try to observe the behaviour as many times as you can in a variety of situations.

Record what you have seen and learnt in a method you most prefer; writing notes, dicta-phone, video etc. Do this as you make the observations or as soon as you can afterwards. Note that the more time that elapses before you record what you saw the more detail and clarity will be lost.

Perspectives of Observation

When making your observations there are three perspectives or positions you can assume. Accurate modelling requires you assume at least two of these position but preferably all three for the best results.

Observer’s perspectives / positions:
1. Your own point of view
2. Another person’s point of view
3. Unconnected outside observer’s point of view

You can also make the observation as a whole system, the ‘rational field’. Or to synthesise the perspective of all the other three positions.

Quite often an expert will be behaving unconsciously, they often do not even realise they are doing certain things or why they do them. It can be very challenging modelling this type of unconscious behaviour, as they cannot tell you much about it at all.

Behaviour Modelling - Part 2

BUILDING A BEHAVIOUR MODEL


Preparation

Here are some typical reasons you might wish to use behaviour modelling.

1. To simulate the high performance of others.
2. To achieve a specific goal or task.
3. To understand a process in greater depth.

Be very clear about the reasons you have decided to model a behaviour.

Identify the person who you wish to base your model on. Select them carefully. Make sure that they perform the behaviour you wish to develop and you have a reasonable amount of access to information surrounding them and the behaviour/s you wish to model (personal contact is preferable). I will refer to this person as the ‘subject’.

Remember you can have as many subjects as you like, but model each of them separately and do not generalise. If you generalise you are more likely to miss the key to the desired behaviour.

So, to model behaviour you must identify particular key elements. Ask these questions and record your results. The more accurate and detailed you are with your data the better model you can build.

1. What are the subject’s goals?
2. How does the subject measure progress towards their goals?
3. What are the choices the subject uses and how do they action them?
4. How does the subject respond if the goal is not achieved?

Identifying Skills

All skills are made up of other skills - ‘sub-skills’. For example, driving a car requires knowledge of legislation, road use, hand / eye coordination, some basic mechanical understanding, starting / controlling / stopping a vehicle and so on. To develop each of these sub-skills, in turn, requires further sub-skills, some of which you may already have.

This is known as ‘chunking’ down. These ‘chunks’ of information make up the higher-level skill you are aiming to develop. I will discus ‘chunking’ information and how it relates to learning and our short-term memory another time.

There are three types of skills:
Behavioural - (what we do / action)
Cognitive - (how we think / thought processes)
Linguistic - (what we say / use of language)
There are two levels to each of these skills:
Simple - (takes seconds to minutes to identify)
Complex - (takes sustained observation to identify)

So in all there are a total of six categories of skills.
Simple Behavioural
Simple Cognitive
Simple Linguistic
Complex Behavioural
Complex Cognitive
Complex Linguistic

It is obviously easier and quicker to model the simple skills than the more difficult complex skills. So it makes sense to model the simple skills first. Remember that it may be necessary to chunk down these skills into their sub-skills, particularly the complex ones.

Behaviour Modelling - Part 1

WHAT IS BEHAVIOUR MODELLING


Behaviour modelling is how to analyse and adopt the exceptional behaviour of others. I will try to give you a clear and simple tool you can use without the psychology lesson others insist upon. I will only give a little background if I think it is absolutely necessary for your understanding.

What is a Model?

Here are some relevant definitions of modelling.

1. Process in which a particular behaviour is elicited by the observation of similar behaviour in others.
2. A standard or example for imitation or comparison.
3. A representation, generally in miniature, to show the construction or appearance of something.
4. A pattern or mode of structure or formation.
5. A typical form or style.
6. A prototype, archetype, mould or original.

I quite like ‘paragon’ to describe modelling.
Paragon; A model or pattern of excellence or of a particular excellence
Paragon-ed/ing/s; To compare; To parallel; To equal; To match

It doesn’t really matter which of these definitions you prefer (if any) as long as you get the idea of what a model is.

N.L.P. Behaviour Modelling

A good ‘behaviour model’ is a map of what a person does and thinks to achieve a given result, it is an examination and record of an individuals key behaviours. A model is only as valuable as it is useful. If a model isn’t very effective, or of use, there is little reason in having or trying to apply it.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was born out of modelling human behaviours and thinking processes. NLP has identified the link between how our brain works (Neuro) and the language (Linguistic) and other non-verbal forms of communication that we use. Develop a process or program to simulate the desired behaviours (Programming).

NLP is all about pursuing human excellence through observing and breaking down what people think and do into its constituent parts. Then, reproducing these behaviours to achieve a specific outcome.

Building Rapport

Rapport — the feeling of mutual trust and affinity — is something that many people take for granted but it is the key for successful relationships.

It is also the essential first step towards influencing people, the way they think and the decisions they make. But rapport takes time and skills to develop.

You can master the four ‘R’s of rapport building.

Relate, Reassure, Reinforce and React.


Relate: Make the connection

Rapport begins when two people meet for the first time and initiate the process of getting to know one another.

Remember that your appearance will create the initial impression. Your body language, the tune of your voice and the words you say must reflect one another. If they contradict each another, others will pick up on this subconsciously. People will be suspicious of you and mistrust will be embedded into the relationship.

On the telephone it is thought (by some sources) that our body language can impact the message. Yes, even though we can't see the person we are speaking with. Your telephone posture affects your body language. How much this percentage will change can depend on how your body language or posture affects your tone and the words you use. Some sources do not consider body language in the equation at all while communicating on the telephone.

According to various sources, the percentages break down for how messages are conveyed in face-to-face situations and on the telephone is as follows.

Face to Face

Body Language: 55%

Tonality: 38%

Actual words: 7%

On the Telephone

Body Language: 0 - 16%

Tonality: 70 - 86%

Actual words: 14 - 20%

One way you can begin to relate to people is to share their personal experiences. To initiate this ask open questions (who, what where, why, when, how, what do you think, tell me about).

You may have to offer one of your own experiences for discussion to open this line of communication. Be very careful here, the experience you decide to convey could be a subject that evokes negative feelings. You probably won’t know this person well enough to take this chance. Story telling is a powerful tool but an art in itself. If in doubt, leave it out.

Another rapport-building technique you can use is to find commonalities between each other. Ask questions about their needs, aspirations and hopes and correlate them to your own. Find the common ground.

E.G. “A similar thing happened to me …” or “I enjoy that, too.”

The ability to establish successful relationships depends on your perceptiveness your power to demonstrate positive energy and enthusiasm.


Reassure: Have a friend on the inside

Rapport begins to solidify when two people discover and acknowledge the things they have in common. This typically happens after meeting for the first time.

Give reassurance by being inquisitive and to listen for feedback from them. Active listening involves acknowledging hearing someone through various methods. Paraphrasing is a very powerful way to emphasise listening.

E.G. “So what you’re saying is…” or “That must make you feel great!”

When you use paraphrases, others feel understood. And when people feel they are being heard, they are much more willing to open up and share.

Body language can do this just as well. A simple nod, a smile or chuckle, good eye contact without staring. This can be augmented by occasionally omitting reassuring sounds, not too often though. Overuse of active listening will have the opposite effect and give the impression you not listening at all or you are being patronising.

Being with someone who ‘understands you’, ‘gets what you mean’, ‘has been there’, is very reassuring. Reassuring people makes them feel as though they have a friend on the inside.


Reinforce: Cement the bond

Rapport is established when communication between two people begins to reach its optimum potential.

Teach yourself to look for opportunities to reinforce people’s observations or build on their arguments.

E.G. “And here’s another reason I think you’re right …” or “I couldn’t agree more.”

Be careful not to become a ‘yes man’ or a ‘creep’, it will be noticed by others. This type of behaviour does not help in building relationships with people around you.

Mirroring is another technique you can use to make people feel more comfortable and reinforce their decisions. Developed by therapists, mirroring involves copying the other person’s body language, breathing and voice patterns to reflect them. It is based on the notion that people who are like each other tend to like each other.

You can mirror on the telephone too, tonality being the largest factor here. Listen to the types of words and language used. Much more difficult on the telephone is to gauge the breathing patterns.

When you mirror a person, they see a reflection of themselves in you. That reflection helps cement the bond between the two of you.

There is a fine line between mirroring and mimicking. If you use this technique it must be natural and relaxed. Badly executed you will ridicule them at best or come across as mentally deficient at worst.


React: Work the relationship

Once you establish rapport, you must work the relationship to crystallize the first three Rs. Practice these rapport-building techniques with people you already know and to watch for signs of improved relationships.

The way we communicate with others goes far beyond the words we say. Our attitude, body language, communication style and personal appearance are key elements in how successful we will be in practice. Every interaction with a person is an opportunity to build or damage our personal credibility.

Rapport building is a subtle art, one that must be acquired and practiced before it can ever be mastered. Its mastery, however, will pay off handsomely for you, because people find it difficult to say “no” when you have established rapport with them. You will find it easier to get people to comply with your ideas and suggestions. This opens the doors for you to employ your influencing skills.

For further reading, rapport building and many other forms of communication has been broken down, analysed and named N.L.P. (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Based in human psychology, this method has been credited in developing performance excellence in its practitioners. N.L.P. is the art and science of human communication.

Leadership - Part 3

What happens when a leader isn’t successful? The simple answer is that no one follows them, but this is sadly not always true. A person may be already in a position of leadership due to prior successes but then begins to get it wrong. Or, a person may have been placed in a position of leadership in error, a surprisingly common situation. Even worse, people may follow false leaders, acting the part but having little substance.

So, what are the warning signs of failure as a leader? Here are some things to watch out for. The first list requires some explanation, I’ve kept it short.


Traits of a Leader Associated With Failure

Shifting Focus - Losing sight of the big picture.
Poor Communication - Great leadership is about communicating ideas.
Averting Risks - Avoid fear of failure.
Declining Ethics - What a leader does shows what a leader is.
Negative Self-Management - Fulfil your physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual needs.
Lost Love - Stay on track; don’t lose sight of the ‘vision’.


Enemies of Leadership

Selfishness
Power Struggles
Behaviour (lose of control)
Jealousy
Greed
Incompetence
Rigid
Callous
Corrupt
Intemperate
Insular
Evil

Summary

As a leader, be aware of the role you play. Develop the right traits while watching for and avoiding the wrong ones. Model your behaviours on the leaders you admire and wish to be like, select the very best examples.

If I were asked what was the one key trait to becoming a successful leader, I would say the skill you need to acquire is to learn to serve and not demand.

Leadership - Part 2

Traits of a Successful Leader

There are two main areas that influence a person’s decision (consciously or unconsciously) to follow your leadership, your character and / or skills. Other things do affect the decision process but it is these aspects that will be the deciding factors.

I’ve pulled together some straightforward lists of characteristics and skills that are considered the key to good leadership. These are known as leadership ‘traits’. I am not claiming these are the definitive areas for development, I’m merely showing some examples of the opinions that are out there. You must never forget to take your own personality and environment into consideration when considering any of these.

I have always had an issue with how individual’s interperate lists of single words. The context, the reader’s point of view, his or her own motivations and so on can skew any definition of a word. This is not the place to start a catalogue of leadership definitions, but keep this in mind when reading the following lists.

Chris Widener on http://www.top7business.com/ suggests that these are the ‘Top 7 Character Traits Of Extraordinary Leaders’. I think there is a lot to be said for this simple approach, see what you think.

Top 7 Character Traits Of Extraordinary Leaders

Integrity
Optimism
Embraces Change
Risk Taker
Tenacious
Catalectic
Dedicated / Committed

I’ve had the following acronym floating about for some time and forgotten where I’ve had it from; I think this is a handy reference and seems to cover all the major leadership traits.

JJ DID TIE BUCKLE

Justice
Judgment
Dependability
Initiative
Decisiveness
Tact
Integrity
Enthusiasm
Bearing
Unselfishness
Courage
Knowledge
Loyalty
Endurance

The U.S. Army have done quite a bit of work in leadership, as you might expect, and have come up with some interesting stuff. I have selected their ‘Leadership Principles’ and ‘Character Traits’ to include here. I have edited their list of ‘Leadership Principles’ slightly to make them a little more relevant but the basic principles are in tact. As you consider these next two lists, keep in mind the environmental ‘structure’ that they were developed for.

Leadership Principles

Understand and be functionally proficient in whatever you do
Know yourself and seek self-improvement
Know your followers and look out for their welfare
Keep your followers informed
Set the example
Ensure the task is understood, supervised and accomplished
Develop your followers as a team
Make sound and timely decisions
Develop a sense of responsibility in your followers
Employ your followers in accordance with their capabilities
Seek responsibility and take responsibility for your actions

Character Traits

Bearing
Confidence
Courage
Integrity
Decisiveness
Justice
Endurance
Tact
Initiative
Coolness
Maturity
Improvement
Will
Assertiveness
Candour
Sense of humour
Competence
Commitment
Creativity
Self-discipline
Humility
Flexibility
Empathy/Compassion

If you compare these with the ‘JJ DID TIE BUCKLE’ list you can see how the environment, and even potential followers, have changed what traits we think a leader should possess. This is nothing to be overly concerned about; it only suggests that the positive traits of a leader can be somewhat bespoke.

Leadership - Part 1

Identifying what exactly makes a good leader is hotly debated and will probably continue for some time yet. Every time someone thinks they have the formula, a successful leader comes along that just doesn’t fit that criterion.

There seems to be no absolutes, no finite rights or wrongs. Just a general consensus that most experts in the field would agree is the right direction.

However, I do think that researching successful leaders and modelling their behaviour is one of the best ways to identify our own development needs.

Meanwhile, to start you on your quest to find the essence of a good leader I have assembled a few ‘quick hit’ ideas for you to consider. It is a sizable subject so I have broken it down into a series of three very short parts. This is intended as the laypersons guide to leadership, something to make you think and explore further. It is not an all-inclusive study of the subject.


The Environment

To understand what leadership is, you must first identify how a leader ‘fits’ within their environment. All environments typically consist of three components.

1. STRUCTURE
Each environment has a structure of some description, which gives it form and dictates the way it interacts with the other components. In the business sense, the environment would be the organisation you work for. But it could just as easily be a person’s home and family. Sometimes, it may seem difficult to identify the environmental structure. You may be looking too hard; it may be society itself, your country, the world. You get the idea.

2. FOLLOWERS
The followers respond to, and interact with, the structure and the leaders. We are all followers at some time, in countless environments, even if we are leaders in others.

3. LEADERS
The leaders determine the ultimate evolutionary direction of the environment. Their character and skills, their leadership ‘traits’, determine the approach used to resolve issues and how tasks are accomplished.


Definition of a Leader

In my opinion the following quote pretty much sums up what a leader is.

Managers are people who do things right, while leaders are people who do the right thing. - Warren Bennis, Ph.D. On Becoming a Leader

To add to that, in an ideal world - good Managers need to be good leaders and good leaders need to be good managers. Each supports and is influenced by the other, but neither is dependant on the other.


Becoming a Leader

There are three major theories of how people become leaders.

Trait
Some personality traits may lead people naturally into leadership roles.
Great Events
A crisis or significant event may cause a person to rise to the occasion, which brings out leadership qualities in a person.
Transformational Leadership
People can choose to learn leadership skills and become leaders.

There is only a small amount of people who slot into the ‘Trait’ and ‘Great Events’ theories. The ‘Transformational Leadership’ theory is the most widely accepted today. This then links in nicely with the behavioural modelling I mentioned earlier.

Here are a couple of leadership models you might be interested in.
Four Framework Approach, Bolman and Deal (1991)
The Blake and Mouton Managerial Grid (1985)

Inspiration

I have always been inspired by these words and I would like to thank my friends Linda and Mick for reminding me of them. If you haven’t already seen this quote I hope it helps you as much as it does me.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

This quote is, even now, wrongly attributed to Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech. It, in fact, appeared in the book ‘A Return to Love’ by best selling author Marianne Williamson.

This may not be news to you. But it isn’t this enduring urban and Internet myth that concerns me.

What does concern me is that we care so much that this quote is not by a person quite as socially predominant and influential as Nelson Mandela.

It is a shame that we live in a society that needs such things to be qualified by others. Do we really need celebrities and modern leaders to add weight to things we already know are important?

After all, isn’t this exactly what Marianne Williamson is talking about?

Who cares if Nelson Mandela did not utter these words, it takes nothing away from their power.

The Resolution Revolution

It’s Valentines Day already and love is in the air. January passed in the blink of an eye. The New Year wasn’t quite the new beginning you thought or hoped it might be, but time just seems to fly.

So you have had a brave and gallant attempt at giving up smoking, going to the gym, losing weight and cutting out chocolate completely. But it’s all gone wrong.

ARE YOU REALLY SURPRISED?

Because of this, this time of year is known as one of the most depressing times for so many people. With the start of the New Year you watch time slip away as your resolutions fade. By February the moment has gone and so are all your good intentions.

Don’t kid yourself; it isn’t because you haven’t got the time or money. Nor is it because you are weak willed or its someone else’s fault. It is because you have set yourself up for a disaster.

YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN

There is so much you can do to make your resolutions happen. And you don’t have to wait until next New Year to do it. But this time you will do it right.

Sometimes we need a little help and support. So I thought I’d share some simple ideas that we can all do and that are guaranteed to help. These are some of the key steps you must take to make your dreams come true.

BE REALISTIC

Be realistic in what you want. A resolution should be a slight stretch for you but still achievable. Do one thing at a time if you are struggling.

Don’t listen to friends and family who tell you that ‘you’re bound to fail’ or that ‘you can do so much more’. No one knows you better than yourself; just make sure you don’t take on too much at once.

Remember that things like smoking are addictions and not just ‘a bad habit’ that you can kick given enough nicotine patches, gum and boiled sweets. You will almost certainly need professional help to increase your chances of success.

BE CLEAR AND SPECIFIC

Be very clear and specific in creating your resolutions. Write down in detail what you want, not what you don’t want. Always be positive, don’t use negative words.

Don’t use statements like ‘I want to do more’, ‘I will eat less’ or ‘I will be better’. Detail how much more or less and explain exactly what you mean by ‘better’.

TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME

Measure your progress in smaller chunks. If your resolution is quite daunting, break it down into smaller steps. This will feel far easier to achieve, bit by bit. Set dates to complete these steps. Make sure they are realistic but challenging.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you don’t quite achieve some of your targets straight away. Pat yourself on the back for the progress you have made. And promise to do even better next time, keep going.

REINFORCE YOUR GOALS

Tell everyone you know what you are doing and when. They will remind you of your resolutions constantly.

Put visual reminders of your goals everywhere you are likely to be. These might be pictures, posters or very short punchy notes. If they are at eye level, you will take the information in subconsciously without the need to read or look at them directly.

Visualise how it will look, feel, sound, smell and even taste when you achieve your goal. Try this in bed, as you are going to sleep, fully relaxed. If visualising your goal is likely to keep you awake, get some quiet time during the day.

TALK A GOOD JOB

Talk to people as if you have already completed your resolution. At the very least assume that achieving it is inevitable. Talk to yourself in the same way. Positive self talk is very powerful and builds great self belief.

Stop using statements like ‘if I cut down on chocolate’ or ‘I hope I cut down on jelly babies too’. Try these out, ‘now I have cut down on chocolate’ or ‘when I stop eating jelly babies’, far more powerful.

DEVELOP NEW HABITS

New habits can be developed in as little as 5 days. Old habits can take as long as 30 days to let go of. In stead of trying ‘not’ to do something, develop a new habit that is both constructive and prevents you from doing the old one.

When you’re trying to cut down on using the car, make a habit of riding a bicycle to a specific place or thinking of an alternative method of transport. Think of what you should be doing not what you shouldn’t be doing.

CELEBRATE ACHIEVEMENT

Celebrate each achievement, and plan to do so. This will add to your motivation and commitment. Keep praising yourself for your progress and hard work, you deserve it.

Be careful; don’t reward your week long abstinence from chocolate by buying the largest giant chocolate bar in the shop, and eating it all to your self while everyone is out. It won’t help your cause.

GET HELP AND SUPPORT

You don’t have to struggle on alone; this is where coaches really come into their own.

A good personal coach can help you make all your resolutions a reality. No matter what day of the year it is. They genuinely believe you have everything it takes to achieve all you want in life. Put them to the test.

SUMMING UP

Go out there and get what you want. Who cares if it isn’t New Years day? You can have a better life every day. Use the following checklist as a quick guide.

I was going to wish you good luck,

but you don’t need luck any more.

CHECKLIST

BE REALISTIC
BE CLEAR AND SPECIFIC
TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME
REINFORCE YOUR GOALS
TALK A GOOD JOB
DEVELOP NEW HABITS
CELEBRATE ACHIEVEMENT
GET HELP AND SUPPORT

THE RED 67 COACH'S BLOG

12/02/05 Sunday
Dave Kari


Hi, this is my first ‘Blog’. This is where I will be recording and sharing my thoughts. This is where I will ‘think out loud’ and hope you find it interesting.

Seeing that RED 67 is a coaching company and I am its coach, I will try my best to stick to coaching related subjects. This doesn’t mean I won’t employ a little artistic licence. But if I think something is of interest or it may be of some use to others, then it will appear here.

My aim for the RED 67 BLOG is to open a window or line of communication that is ‘alive’ and runs along side yet enhances our web site. I also hope it will give you a deeper insight into coaching and the way I deliver it.

This Blog will not be used as an opportunity to show the world how clever coaching is, or how great we are at it. Nor will it be just another opportunity to deliver the usual sales pitches (not that I know how to do that).

So what shall I talk to you about? I think I should firstly explain what RED 67 is and what it does.

I started RED 67 to fill, what I think, is a fairly big gap in the market, supplying a coaching service that isn’t readily available. ‘There’s plenty of coaching companies out there’ I here you cry. Yes, I suppose there are, but not many like this one.

Do I have privileged access to new fangled coaching methods?
Of course not.
So, what do I think I can do that others can not?
Nothing! It is the way I do it that is important.

There are coaching companies out there that will bombard you with technical and psychological jargon. And will be more than happy to sell you the new personality profiling methods that they have developed or brought in from abroad. They always feel a little bit clinical and distant somehow.

There are yet others that will try to explain that the reason why you might struggle with time management is somehow tied up will the astral alignments!
Hmm.

I don’t. I am down to earth and a realist and that is how I coach. I want to see people grow, and grow quickly. I have a genuine desire to help people achieve their desires and dreams. And I believe anything is possible if you are willing to work hard enough.

I am sure there is a market out there for the other types of coaches, but sometimes people just want to get on with it. That’s what I do, get on with it and get results.

This is really the whole philosophy of RED 67 and we want to bring others along with us. We are not an isolated organisation claiming to be the font of all coaching knowledge, far from it.

I would like to see the RED 67 BLOG become a focal point for people who wish to develop in an open and honest way. A place we can share ideas and contribute to each others growth, no matter what the subject under discussion.

You don’t have to be a coach yourself, or an ‘expert’ in any subject to have something worthwhile to say. All you need is some interest in change for the better.

If you know of web sites worthy of a link or books and publications that are a ‘must read’, DVDs that simply must be seen, or even just a few of your own ideas, let me know. Once vetted, if I think it is relevant and constructive I will give them a mention here credited to you of course, unless you wish to stay anonymous.

You might only have questions, and that’s okay, we all must ask questions to get the answers we need. E-mail me and I will either reply directly or if I think it would be of interest to others I may open the question up here for input from our readers, with your permission.

One last thing, I have a few people to thank for helping me get RED 67 off the ground, which I have done in person. I won’t bore you with the list of names here. But it is worth mentioning that I could not have started RED 67 without a fairly big chunk of help from my friends (I may be at risk of sounding like an old Beatles record, oh no!). Thanks everyone.